My name is Jason Biesenbach. My point in writing this letter is to tell the truth and come clean with many people who are asking questions, who and why.
Starting Jan. 2002 - Feb. 9th, I robbed about 10 buildings. A few I took from, leaving a mess behind, but others, maybe a broken window. Scared off by fright. One man knew I robbed his building, and took money from him. Finding a way to be poisoned, there I lay in a motel room stripped of every thing good I've ever known. I woke up finding nasty towels laying about and sticky stuff on the bed and night stand. I came to, seeing things were not right, opening the door with angry men in trucks, and cars waiting for me to take the poison, so carefully placed in my room. 15 to 20 of them waited, stating, how long does this stuff take, should I go in the room and bash him out. I write this to my shame. One might think it would wake me up and think about my actions and the feelings of others. I did not. In a good life driven crazy, I did not stop to think about the feelings of others or what I was doing. How can a man prove he's being driven like a train by an unseen force, to their praise. I came to Waco to live a God-given life. I did not come to Waco Texas to harm or hurt anyone of you in my life.
Faced with a broken window, and a lady asking the questions. why, not understanding to grief. No a good life driven crazy. I hid in shame. For the first time I saw I hurt someone, yes it is pain. I owe her and everyone I hurt with my pain. I can't say sorry and just move on in life. No, this must change. I don't understand or have the knowledge how to change and cut off the root of evil that causes you and I grief and pain. As for as the eye can see, I'm to blame and have to take the blame. I know since Sept. 11th, I've been driven like a train. If I would not had left T.S.T.C. and a life any God could have given, none of this would had taken place.
I feel part to blame for Sept.11th, statements, statements, and question and drawing, I'm to blame. I feel like I was being judged by crude darkness of their heart. I let go and went the other way, but this too is a story for another day. If I could only explain. I owe so much more than I can repay, I'm sitting in jail, not with guilt of being caught, but with sorrow, knowing I've let the darkness in my life cause sorrow and pain. I've hurt those who believe and trusted in me, I let them down, every day I'm away. Who would ever believe I was sent to T.S.T.C. to live a God-given life? Did I try? Who would ask? If I were to see you, I would not ask for mercy, and beg to be let go, but just a simple prayer, a prayer that the evil root may be seen and chopped, burned with victory, knowing no more harm would come to you and I.
I know I am to blame, and do take the blame. With pride, no, God forbid. With hope that with this hurt that's caused sorrow and pain might be a tool in proving that we, as I, have been used, blinded by confusion of a awful day, Sept. 11. Everywhere I've turned in Waco, from the Salvation Army to Christian Ministries, have shut the door and said stay away. They all claim to see, but could not see a human God created was falling like the beloved Trade Center.
I'm not worth nothing, just a man on the street telling the truth. Good for them in all their ways.This root, this evil can be traced for six years in my life, I've done everything to try to explain. The law don't care, they can't see the unseen craftiness of another world at work. So here I sit, unable to prove. I sit here in shame. They stand singing victory as they cut the strings. I want and need, like you love life, for your sake and mine, that one together praying to God, knowing he can shed light, letting us see this root of evil with him in charge, whether I be right or not, he is all, get the praise for creation in life, love and truth.
There are many roots in many people, if the people could see where to change, how much more life, love and truth would we share in no blame. Now out of sorrow and pain for you, the hurt and wronged. The people I have let darkness wrong. The people who ask the questions, who and why? If I were asked the questions I'd be quick to answer with the truth. Maybe one or two questions would help us all to explain in this time of confusion, stress and pain. I am to blame, with love more than sorrow, asking the living God of life, love and truth to open your ears and eyes to life, love and truth in this matter and all unseen matters in your life. I need help in over coming this root that causes pain. The song of prison sings of lost life, death and pain. You and I in our darkest hour should not face this song, see the evil, secure his lock down that the prisoner might get help and help himself in a new song, never to depart from his ways.Jason Biesenbach 0118465